I keep getting that question from people, and I don’t know how to answer.  Because I don’t have the answer.

If you really want to know, give me 20 minutes of your time, and I’ll try to answer the best I can.

Ready? Grab a timer (hint, there is one on whatever device you are using) and scroll down..






Is your timer set for 15 minutes?  Sitting down in a quiet room?

Here is your answer:




Ready?  Think of one of your children.  (Don’t get up, just think of one)  Scroll down..






Ready?   Start your timer and Scroll down when you are…









BOOM!  Somebody just killed your child. 


Don’t get up.  Put your computer down, your phone down,  close your eyes… don’t open them again until your timer goes off.  Just imagine it.  Really imagine it.  You will never, ever see your child again.  You will never, ever touch your child again.  BOOM!
















When you are finished..  don’t get up, the challenge is not done..scroll down.







The question isn’t for me to answer.   It’s for you to answer.  Did you do it? Could you do it?

If so, tell me, when would you stop grieving?  When would you stop fighting?  When would you be “happy”?

WAIT!  Don’t get up yet!  The challenge isn’t done..







Now call a friend, or go to the store.. talk about cookies, or the weather, or springtime, or Easter, whatever you want.. but remember!  don’t say your child’s name! don’t talk about what happened!  Shhh..














And then, go hug your child.  And look at your watch, how long has it been?  Did you make it that long?

(PS – If you really want to know, that is that best I can do to describe the scenario that I relive every morning, of every day, as I wake from sleep.. without the timer or the hug at the end)