Special Needs Discrimination in Healthcare is real, and every ounce of me wishes it wasn’t.  My heart sinks a little more each time I find an article like this one, verifying the reality of our story:

“One in four participants said they had been encouraged by a medical professional to abort, and many received inadequate information and little compassion.”


It makes me realize that the importance of this conversation is all the more real:

Rady’s Birth Defect Program

But then, I read on to the comments section. And I saw the hate. And I realized a harsh truth.

That I have been naïve.

I read words like “burden to society”; “they might be cute when they are young,” but..; and more that I can’t write, but I hope you read.

And I realized. This blood test isn’t anything new. It is just a different, more efficient, way to do what our society has been doing for years. And this author isn’t actually asking parents (to-be) to stop aborting their special needs children. Instead, she is asking us to be honest.  Honest about how we want the leaders of our society to view the worth of those with special needs.

And hundreds of commenters rose to her request. Honesty they gave her. The honesty of hate, for those they deem worthless, or trying to take something from them.

And, after all this time, I realized. I was naïve. I thought the silence was perhaps discomfort, or wanting to believe doctors can’t fail, or fear of conflict, or something.. anything.. else.

What I didn’t realize was that the silence is hate. The view of my own loved and cherished son as worth less. Or even despised. Or, at best, maybe the silence was just an act of condoning the hate.

I don’t have a word to describe how much this truth hurts. I have spent much of the past 24 hours crying, no sobbing, at the idea of this truth.

But I appreciate the author for asking the question. I appreciate the audience for answering. For taking the opportunity to speak the unspoken truth of how our society views those who don’t meet our ‘expectations’. Because the knowledge, as painful as it is, is better than the silence.

And in this one article, I am thankful that the author and the commenters answered our plea: “Let’s talk about it”

And I remain, thankful for the few..


“It was real and true” (by Rowan’s 6 year old sister) – This is the truth of what the silence did