Archives for category: parent’s rights in healthcare

Compare/contrast these two situations:

1.  A typical child goes in for a routine examination.  The child’s mother tells the physician, “My child cannot have penicillin.”  In fact, the mother has been mentioning that for over a year.  The physician says, “I know what I’m doing” and gives that child a shot of penicillin anyway.  The child dies, and the mother shouts “You killed him!”

2. A non-typical child goes in for a routine examination.  The child’s mother tells the physician, “My child cannot have anesthesia.”  In fact, the mother has been shouting that for over a year.  The physician says, “I know what I’m doing” and gives that child anesthesia anyway.  The child dies, and the mother shouts “You killed him!”

What is the difference between these two stories? (Yes, I already know that penicillin would likely kill someone by anaphyllaxis and anesthesia would likely kill someone by cardiac arrest)

What is the difference in society’s reaction?

The comments section is open..

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I hate a lot of things in life.
I hate that two doctors, together, killed my son.
I hate that they didn’t see him for who he was, and I hate that they didn’t see his worth.
I hate that they didn’t listen to me when I tried to protect my son.
I hate that even Google is talking about the things that Rowan’s own pediatrician refuses to.
I hate silence, and the crimes that result.
I hate apathy, and the destruction that happens because of it.
I hate that I had to teach my daughter about death.
I hate that I have to teach her everyday about silence, and apathy, and why bad guys sometimes get away, and why some people don’t have to say they’re sorry.

And I’m UN-apologetically angry.
I’m angry when someone is silent, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m angry when someone is apathetic, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m angry when someone won’t say they are sorry, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m outraged when someone hides his crimes, and I will not tolerate it.
I’m outraged every morning when I wake up envisioning my son’s death, that I witnessed, all over again.
I’m angry every night when I cry myself to sleep.

But I look into my daughter’s eyes, and I can’t teach her to hate.
I won’t hate all doctors, because I can’t teach her to discriminate.
I won’t hate people who are silent, because I can’t teach her to give up her own voice.
I won’t hate people who are apathetic, because I can’t teach her that she can’t make a change.
I won’t hate those who don’t take responsibility, because I can’t teach her to run away from her own.

I am angry. And will teach my daughter that there are some things that are wrong.
I am outraged. And will teach my daughter that there are some things worth being furious about.
But I will not meet hate with hate. Because if she learns that lesson, then I have lost her, too.

 

 

 

Want to make a difference?  Visit How To Take Action

To learn more about current research documenting Special Needs Discrimination in Healthcare visit: Special Needs Discrimination – Healthcare

Copyright © rowansmile 2015. All Rights Reserved. No part of this website or any of its contents may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author. Rowan was killed at Rady Children’s Hospital as a direct result of the carefree and unnecessary use of general anesthesia for an equally unnecessary and “routine” outpatient diagnostic procedure.. Without his parents’ consent. It is okay to post a link to this page.

We didn’t have a choice.  We didn’t.  We simply didn’t.

Yes, in hindsight, we could have taken Rowan to a different town, or Australia.. where proper precautions would have been taken.  If we had known what we know now, we certainly would have put our entire family on that plane.

But I read stories like this one.  I read lots of them.  And I realize that this story isn’t about whether you agree with Cassandra, or her mother, or the doctors.

It’s a story about who is in charge.  And it’s not the parents:

http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2015/01/medical-consent?fsrc=scn/tw/te/bl/ed/cassandrascatch22

And it wasn’t me.

I pleaded, I begged.  I made phone call after phone call.  Talked to doctor after doctor.

Do it without anesthesia.. “No”

Make him an in-patient.. “No”

Do more tests beforehand.. “No”

Find a better way.. “No”

Listen to me..NO!

“We are one of the best hospitals in the world.  We know what we are doing.”

“There is no other option.”

When they didn’t listen.. they didn’t just take away my son.  They took away my voice.  They took away me.

When people turn away, or don’t take action.. They don’t just turn away from my son.  They don’t just turn away from my loss.  They turn away from me.

And I matter.

“I’m not asking much… just your voice!” the sea witch told Ariel.  Is that really what it takes to live in the human world?

There is absolutely no relief when a bereaved parent can say I told you so.  It only causes more pain.

An article on alternative, and better, methods for heart imaging:

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2015/mar/14/ct-scan-stress-test/

Outraged?  Visit How to Take Action

Copyright © rowansmile 2015. All Rights Reserved. No part of this website or any of its contents may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author. Rowan was killed as a direct result of the careless and unnecessary use of general anesthesia for a “routine” outpatient diagnostic procedure.. Without his parents’ consent.  It is okay to post a link to this page.