Trailing a mt lion together before you were born.

Trailing a mt lion together before you were born.

I sit down to write this letter, knowing that I will never find words powerful enough to describe..

Our Precious Rowan,

I remember the doctor, placing you on my stomach for the first time. You were slimy, and ugly, and perfect.

When your sister was born, I learned the meaning of true happiness and true love. The day you were born, I learned what it was like to feel complete, a sense that I had never felt before.

For over two years, we were together nearly all the time. We led a full, exciting, and joyful life. And all we had to do was hug to solve either of our worries.

My career of navigating through your world was both joyful and challenging. I was tired, but fulfilled each day, every time I saw your proud face as you learned something new. For the first time in my life, I could envision my future, and that vision brought me joy.

You taught me to stop, and talk to a stranger. You allowed me to see, that when you do, those strangers have a lot of say. You taught me how to give, without reserve or expectation.

Your sister showed me a world around me that I had never noticed before. You showed me a whole new world that I had never experienced before. A world full of unencumbered love. A world where limitations were ignored, and dreams prevailed. A world where absolutely anything and everything that mattered was possible.

With the help of your sister, your dad, and many caring friends and family members, I know that I will feel love again. I hope that I will someday find happiness. But I know that I will never again feel complete.

I will continue to carry you in my heart each day, wishing you were in my arms.

With all my love,